Mother's Day Off the Wagon

Mother's Day.

Spunky little council member Cami chimes in right after church (the most vulnerable meal-time, of course) with: "I say - take a break from 7 and eat mother's day lunch! She ate food from Ethiopia - just do it! ... Do you all think that I am Satan? I hope no one is mad.."  The wheels in my head are spinning! I am immediately excited.  Not that she has any final ruling or anything, but just the thought of the suggestion, I wanted to hug her. Church has just ended, and my family is debating restaurants..who can best accomodate the large group, who will be the least crowded..oh, the dilemma. Everything said after "Habanero" was just white noise. I mean, Cami said it was okay after all!  I didn't feel that guilty over lunch.  The biggest stretch of "cheating" I did was eating chips and that delish "white dip" (which used to be some majorly special secretey kind of thing, until this guy I work with told me how they make it.  C'mon June, I'm ready to make some white sauce! Yeehaw.) Otherwise, just chicken & cheese a'top those chips. Not bad. Content with that non-7-sanctioned meal, no major convictions.
BUT.... Like any person "off the wagon," it only takes one time for it to all come crashing down.  Shortly after lunch, I was slapped with a major disappointment, on my first Mother's Day, might I add.  I'll spare you of the details.  I was sad.  All I wanted was ice cream. I knew it wouldn't make me feel any better, but it would still be quite tasty, and comforting, of course.  I was at one of those really low, mad/sad moments.  I caved.  I just had this little bitty ice cream cup thing from the back of the freezer.  Dang it, why didn't I eat that months ago? Out of sight, out of mind.  Too bad though.  I didn't feel the effects of said ice cream until later on..
While trying to go to sleep, I got to thinking (which worked out great for the whole "trying to go to sleep" thing...ha) about how I never got out of that little slump.  My attitude didn't improve for the remainder of the evening. It may have even gotten worse, actually.  The ice cream didn't solve my problem, it didn't replace my sadness and my disappointment, it didn't fill the hole in my heart.  Lightbulb #1!!! This is what Seven is about for me!!! God was practically yelling to me, "Finally!!! You get it!!"  Did I seriously think that ice cream--or any other attempt to satisfy my major sweet tooth--was going to bring me up out of that sad place? Ice cream?! Seriously!?!?!?!  I should have dropped to my knees right there in front of my refridgerator and cried out to my Jesus.

Only He can fill that spot in my heart!

Monday morning, wee hours of the morning (thank you, LB), I received this verse:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!
--Psalm 42:11

Perfect. Right on time.  His mercies are new each morning.  I have no need to feel discouraged, anytime anyhow, when I put my hope in Him! My heart shall not be sad, when I put my hope in Him! I will praise Him!

Lesson learned.

I have a renewed love for this journey.  It has been difficult.  It has not always been fun.  I'm losing that "on fire" feeling to fight through the end of the month, even though I see and feel God moving. I know He has more to teach me.  If I give it up now, and give in to what I want, there wouldn't be less of me and my junk, and more of Him and His kingdom. Truck on ladies, truck on. 16 days to go!