Rushing Through 2013

I should maybe reflect on 2012 a little bit like everyone else, and maybe I will, but for now I am skipping straight to 2013.

I sorta hate to be the one to rush time along, but the first 6 months of 2013 are going to be some of the hardest for me! I will spend the next 40ish days somehow trying to find a way to prepare myself to spend the next 5 months after that almost totally cut-off from my husband. Wahh!!! :'(

In case you aren't his Facebook friend, he announced to his Facebook world, that he is joining the Army. Well, I say we are. I mean he is the one with the contract with the government...but I'm his wife so that makes us a we. Ya dig? Anyways...

 

Where do I begin?

 

Everyone always wants me to rewind.

As I slowly told my closest friends one by one (those of you I didn't get a chance to sit down with before now, I'm so sorry!), the questions I have received the most are, "Where did this come from?" "What made him decide this?" "How long has he been thinking about this?" etc...

Allow me to address all of the above..

For almost as long as I have known Lewis, he has talked about the military in some way. There was talk of this before we got married, but soon after, I had a few small, selfish excuses as to why he should maybe wait. It was all about me. He got a full-time job that was a great start for us, and all was well in our little life. Fast forward a few years and this comes up again, more briefly this time though. My excuses and I teamed up again, and quickly nipped that in the butt. I was almost finished with college, I had a job I loved that was going to turn into something great for me one day, we had just bought a house, would want to start a family soon..and of course be near our friends & family for that, and I promised to work his college into the budget any way possible, so he could do whatever he wanted also. And I did do that, and he tried it all on, but it wasn't working out for him, and it wasn't what he wanted (especially once little princess came along).

As he continued to randomly bring up the military, and I continuously shook it off, something was working in me. One day I said to him, "if you don't get this job at so&so, and you still want to do the military, then go for it." Uh, what?! I was just as thrown off as he was to hear me say those words. A while later (weeks..months..) he came to me and told me he had been thinking about it a lot lately, and he wanted to pursue it, but only if he had my support.

I wanted to be sure he was serious, and going to follow through, but I never said a negative word. I never thought once about not supporting him this time.

I had spent so much time praying over my husband's decision, I was starting to think that surely God was tired of telling me "I've got this." So of course I just knew that it was right. I didn't have a single excuse anymore, but I also didn't even try to. I had graduated from college, my job didn't work out, I had a baby... It was God's perfect timing, and I knew it. I wasn't trying to be in control anymore. All this time before He was just working on us, in our hearts and in our marriage. I whole-heartedly believe we weren't ready any of the times before. He wasn't, I wasn't, and neither were WE. But, now, the time has almost come.

Something else that I have heard, from almost 95% of people that we have talked to about this, is, "So are yall (Lynnley and I) going to go with him?" I'm sorry, but, I find this question a little bit odd. He is my husband and we are a family, and we are not going to split up for several years when we don't have to. Sorry people, we love you, but I choose my hubbs. And baby girl chooses her daddy.

 

The Breakdown

He leaves for basic training on February 11, 2013. Between that, and AIT ("school"), he will be gone from us for about 19 weeks. We will write letters the old fashioned way, me probably a lot more than him, and that's it. In late June/early July, Lynnley and I will be moving to wherever the Army sends ("stations") my husband for the next 5 years. We have no clue at this point where that will be.

 

I am still not sure what to think of the new life that I am about to begin. I don't think that I am emotionally prepared for being away from him for the first time in 6 years, and I am incredibly sad for all that he and Lynnley will miss of each other during that time. While I don't even know where my head is at right now, I have faith that everything will work out just great, and that I am going to learn plenty along the way. I have some amazing friends who have already been there for me in tremendous ways and who have supported each of us. Thank you to those who have already been a tremendous help to me :) I know they will pray me through each tough day and every step on our journey. I am so blessed! We have our ideas for the next 5 years for our family (of course, we all know that God loves when we try to make our own plans..ha!)... We're going to take full advantage of this chapter in our lives, and are already praying for God to prepare our hearts for whatever work He has planned for us, I know it is going to be something good!

 

I ask that you join us in that prayer, for the future of our family, and for the safety of my husband as he takes care of his family, and his country! :)

While I am hopeful for the next 6 grueling months to quickly pass by, I am at the same time, scared for them to be over. While I don't know where we will be after that, or what in the world my life will be like, I do know that my family will be together again, and to me that is totally worth rushing 6 months along for!

Saying Goodbye

I've been at a loss for words lately.. I've made a big life change, or at least I see it that way. It's been more emotional than most probably think, so at times I just feel silly and avoid putting it all out there.

 

Earlier this week, I ended my employment after 6 years at a great place. I've been at a loss for how to sum it up. It hardly even feels real to me yet. There are several reasons, but after weighing my options--reviewing lists of pros and cons--I decided I felt it was the best decision for my family at this time. It was incredibly hard. It was hard to decide, it was hard to take the leap, and then..it was even harder to say the words.

 

I have literally "grown up" at Moors. I started there right when I graduated high school, because my boyfriend worked there...yay. I went through the woes of dating & breaking up, engagement & getting married, pregnancy & 9 months of new-motherhood at this place and with these people. They weren't just my co-workers, they became my family. They saw me through these events and supported me every step of the way. There were very late nights & really early mornings, many hugs, tears, and even more laughs. I have memories that I'll cherish for my lifetime. They introduced me to their friends and their extended family, and I grew just as close to many of them. I am overwhelmed by the support I have received from many, although I am leaving them and starting a new job. From congratulations to good luck texts on the morning of my first day. How did I get so lucky?!  I AM so blessed to have these people in my life. I know that they'll still be my family, and I will still see them on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas and New Years and birthdays and everything in between. What I will miss, is everyday.

I made mistakes. I made friends. I made pizzas. I made family. I grew. I learned. I learned business. I learned customer service and I learned tourism. I learned record floods. I learned fishing & boating. I learned the art of small talk. I learned the grey area. I learned life. There is no doubt about it that I am the woman, wife, and mother I am today because of 2 very special women I had the privilege of growing so close to. (I hope to one day cook as well as them too. ;)) Everyone there has shaped me and taught me in some way through the years. I have made friends and had conversations that I will forever hold in my heart. I wish that I could list them all.  Although I am so sad to leave, I have complete peace in my heart with my decision.

My last weekend was spent having a celebration of the owners' youngest daughter's wedding.  It was beautiful and I had a ball.  Although it wasn't for me, it was just what I needed: a reminder of all the memories I have made and how close I have grown to so many people in the last several years.  I soaked it all in and hope to hold onto these memories for a very long time. 

 

There are no words to describe how grateful I am for these 2 wonderful people and their love! They have done so much for my life that they don't even know.  They are still the hardest good-bye! I love them and will miss them more than I could ever describe.  I am also honored to share an anniversary with them and will always think of how special they are to me, my husband, and my marriage on that day! 321!

 

Love my wonderful, cute little family! =)

I must also include though, that I can officially say one thing about my time as a marina employee that most cannot...I never fell in the water. ;)

Media waste

To sum up the media fast, it went well. It wasn't all that tough, though boring at times. I read Interrupted (have yet to finish), Redeeming Love (loved it!), and did some bible studies. I made some hair bows, and worked on some other Pinterest-y things that have been sitting idle in my house for too long. Instead of facebooking (on my phone) while nursing or rocking, I read about some other important-to-me things, like breastfeeding and natural childbirth (have recruited my pregnant friend to jump on that train), and other natural practices for my bebe and family. I'm learning. And while it wasn't related to the Holy Spirit, it wasn't related to the latest Facebook saga either. It just so happens that our cable contract ends this month, and I've already convinced the hubby that we aren't renewing. Cha-ching.I'm also not getting back the Facebook app. It's just not that important.  I have found other, actually useful, things to do and read during my boredom time. So really, I found that a lot of  "media" is just a waste anyway...
Anyways, that's my recap.
Onto month 5...Waste.

The idea is to take better care of the Earth that God has given to us.  Reduce, reuse, recycle...garden, compost, eliminate toxic waste, buy local, etc.
Let's see... So I breastfeed (those little milk baggies sure do create a lot of trash, but- what's a working girl to do?), I cloth diaper - that's surely helping all of those land fills, I know that much! I make baby food, and a lot of other things around my house (detergents, cleaners, etc), I don't use shampoo, and I frequent reusable shopping bags. I try a little bit to be "green," but mostly I just try to be frugal. I'm hoping to learn some new practices from other council members this month, bounce some ideas off of each other. I'm not going to garden. I'm just not. Besides, what do you even grow in September? The hubbs and I have agreed on implementing a recycling system in the garage, though our county doesn't have that great of a recycling set up.  But hey, we're trying here. Other goals this month to reduce even further... no ziploc baggies (2 adults packing lunches here), [less] paper towels & napkins, more line-drying, less driving (one car just isn't possible in this family, in this county.  It just isn't.  Sorry Jen.), and more cooking (so less eating out...'cause that's so healthy and all...).  I'm happy to be back on my meal-planning game here, and spending only $150 on groceries for the month.  Yay for being home in time to cook every night again and yay for leftovers!

"What if God's creation is more than just a commodity? If we acknowledged the sacredness of creation, I suspect it would alter the way we treated it."

Any other ideas for this month?  I'm kind of at a loss for what to do (or not do)....

Shane & 7 day evaluation

I have to begin by PRAISING God and sharing such exciting news. I saw SHANE today for the first time since I saw him in the hospital (one week after the accident). He has been to work (to visit) a couple of times lately but I missed him both times! He is so funny, just like before. I just about cried talking to him. We did some normal things, I was always making sure he kept busy, today was no different ;) It made my whole day happy just to spend some time with him! God has truly done us all a miracle healing that boy the way he has, and the amazing progress he continues to make all the time in his therapies shows that God isn't finished with him yet. I teased him about needing to work on his tan, and it melted my heart when he called me by name, more than once! :D Please keep praying for him & Landon to continue healing!

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Now, my 7 day evaluation on media month.

I'm not really missing Facebook, maybe Twitter and Instagram just a little bit ;) I have found I enjoy the time praying while pumping at work, rather than catching up on Facebook news or Instagram. It's all rather liberating to feel free from being up-to-date on my news feed: who's how pregnant, what's for dinner and who's in love, or depressed.

Phone. Hmm. 7 apps. Hmm. Hmmmmm!!!!! Ugh. I haven't thought yet how to RE-evaluate this yet. Seven is about simplicity. I'm doing another bible study on "living simply" as well. Only using 7 apps on my phone is not simple. As in, it doesn't make my life simpler. I understand this is a challenge..but, I need my bill reminder, and my grocery list, and my calendar, and my notes, and my reminders, and my alarm, and my flashlight. But I don't want to trade any of those for the 7 I originally chose. I'm a full-time wife, mother, and employee. IPhone apps keep my life together. Is that allowed?
I just reread in the book, though, "Usually the things we think we need, become the very things we need a break from." Is that the case here? Someone help me. Council?! We have said from month 1, day 1, do what fits the needs in your life. Maybe I should just think about it more. [sigh]

TV has been expanded to, yet limited to, the Olympics - with my cute husband - when he asks so sweetly for me to come sit with him. In the first chapter of Seven (food month), Jen says "don't be an embasile," so, I'm not going to object to sitting on the couch with my cute hubby and watching Olympic swimming or soccer that I really couldn't care less about. A few nights ago, I even fell asleep...and woke up at 330 on the couch, in the living room, lights and tv on, and I was all alone. Thanks, cute husband whom I found in the middle of our big warm bed.
I would also have to hole up in my bedroom all alone to avoid a tv, and I'm not going to do that because LB's toys are in the living room, and my kitchen is a mess 98% of the time. But, when hubby is away, we sing and dance to music instead. ;)

I'm just finding this to be all about rules, and some rules are making my life more stressful than simple. What glory am I giving to God, if all I am doing is stressing about whether or not I am following the rules? I'm looking for ways around that, but I'm not wanting to give up or give in. Suggestions?

Up Next, Media.

As far as media month goes, I'm not sure if blogging is allowed or not. I guess I'm going to work on it unless my council says otherwise. Clearly, I haven't been spending much time here anyway.

I have a great, almost-and-hopefully-will-be-amazing story from possessions month that I just felt that I needed to share:

Some back ground info first... For all of our purged posessions, we decided to have a yard sale to benefit one of our girls and her family who are moving to Burkina Faso within the next year. I thought that was meant for whatever was left after we gave our posessions to any in need.  I believe that's what she would want.  Sparing the details, a friend and I talked and agreed that we had really learned a different lessosn from this chapter, and we weren't being called to "bless the blessed" first. We felt that we needed to pray for God to reveal his plan to us for our posessions, and we prayed to find a family in Marshall County, our home community that our heart strings are tied tighty to, that could use these posessions more than we could. My dream situation (not that it matters to God, afterall) was for a 15 year old girl to receive all of my cute pre-pregnancy clothes that will never fit me again (more on that amount of clothing, later). That same evening, I went to a childhood friend's house to visit with her and her family, whom I have not seen much in a few years!  We were catching up on life and enjoying baby talk, talking about what each of us is doing these days, professionally speaking. She goes on to tell me that she works for a family preservation center, and that she has just received her first family in Marshall County. These families are living in double poverty (as she described it), and she connects them with resources to get them "back on their feet." She described the families she works with as having pretty much nothing.
Um, wow.  I almost cried. I immediately told her (and her dad, who is a preacher in a small town, and who is keeping us in mind for future meeds!) about Seven and possessions month.  She said things like this is exactly what people in her position need, every day.  She meets the family next week, and is going to let me know exactly what their specific needs are.

All the more reason to keep spreading the Seven experiment, and getting more involved!!!

My friends, please be in prayer for this family and any others, and I pray that God will point us in the right direction for others.

My personal rules for media month include:

• No tv, period.
• No Facebook, twitter, instagram (sad day), or any other social media. I'm really not all that upset about this one, I'm ready to clear my mind from some excess clutter!
• Music is reserved for only Christian music
• Phone: 7 apps. Whew! Only 7!? "For the love!" As Jen (Hatmaker, author of Seven) would say.
• "Phone" app doesn't count, because that is what it is for after all. The 7 I have chosen are: texting, fb messenger (strictly for communicating with all of my "7" girls!), camera, photos, kindle, bank, and google docs (for work mostly & other organized parts of my life). I didn't choose bible because I can use to bible in my kindle, or, wait for it.........my real bible :)
• Computer use is limited to work of course for me, and at home- budgeting program (I didn't even choose the phone app that syncs with my computer!;) ), my spreadsheets on google docs, and the occasional iTunes I guess. Oh, and, obviously this blog post.

It sounds tough, but I believe God has prepared my heart for this one, because I am READY!

In the time I would usually spend on my phone on Facebook or pinterest, I hope to pray more and to read more - bible and books. Spend more time with Jesus, and time enriching my life for me, not feening off of others' lives on Facebook, or wishing I was smart, talented, or rich enough to have or make things I see on pinterest. Or wishing I had the time to even attempt that wood-pallet deck furniture. Hmph. In the time I would normally be watching tv, catching up on DVR, I hope to spend more time still praying & reading, playing with my my babbling, goofy-as-her-daddy, baby girl, taking walks & actually exercising, and getting around to all of those crafts and projects I bought the stuff for, or that I always wanted to do, but just watched tv instead. Which pretty much only includes making hair bows. Because we really need more of those.  Lord help me.

I'm also not done with possessions month, I got the full # of items, but I didn't even get to my kitchen or garage yet! ;)

I'm also working on my wrap up of posessions month, so I guess I will post that as well before too long. :)

Mother's Day Off the Wagon

Mother's Day.

Spunky little council member Cami chimes in right after church (the most vulnerable meal-time, of course) with: "I say - take a break from 7 and eat mother's day lunch! She ate food from Ethiopia - just do it! ... Do you all think that I am Satan? I hope no one is mad.."  The wheels in my head are spinning! I am immediately excited.  Not that she has any final ruling or anything, but just the thought of the suggestion, I wanted to hug her. Church has just ended, and my family is debating restaurants..who can best accomodate the large group, who will be the least crowded..oh, the dilemma. Everything said after "Habanero" was just white noise. I mean, Cami said it was okay after all!  I didn't feel that guilty over lunch.  The biggest stretch of "cheating" I did was eating chips and that delish "white dip" (which used to be some majorly special secretey kind of thing, until this guy I work with told me how they make it.  C'mon June, I'm ready to make some white sauce! Yeehaw.) Otherwise, just chicken & cheese a'top those chips. Not bad. Content with that non-7-sanctioned meal, no major convictions.
BUT.... Like any person "off the wagon," it only takes one time for it to all come crashing down.  Shortly after lunch, I was slapped with a major disappointment, on my first Mother's Day, might I add.  I'll spare you of the details.  I was sad.  All I wanted was ice cream. I knew it wouldn't make me feel any better, but it would still be quite tasty, and comforting, of course.  I was at one of those really low, mad/sad moments.  I caved.  I just had this little bitty ice cream cup thing from the back of the freezer.  Dang it, why didn't I eat that months ago? Out of sight, out of mind.  Too bad though.  I didn't feel the effects of said ice cream until later on..
While trying to go to sleep, I got to thinking (which worked out great for the whole "trying to go to sleep" thing...ha) about how I never got out of that little slump.  My attitude didn't improve for the remainder of the evening. It may have even gotten worse, actually.  The ice cream didn't solve my problem, it didn't replace my sadness and my disappointment, it didn't fill the hole in my heart.  Lightbulb #1!!! This is what Seven is about for me!!! God was practically yelling to me, "Finally!!! You get it!!"  Did I seriously think that ice cream--or any other attempt to satisfy my major sweet tooth--was going to bring me up out of that sad place? Ice cream?! Seriously!?!?!?!  I should have dropped to my knees right there in front of my refridgerator and cried out to my Jesus.

Only He can fill that spot in my heart!

Monday morning, wee hours of the morning (thank you, LB), I received this verse:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!
--Psalm 42:11

Perfect. Right on time.  His mercies are new each morning.  I have no need to feel discouraged, anytime anyhow, when I put my hope in Him! My heart shall not be sad, when I put my hope in Him! I will praise Him!

Lesson learned.

I have a renewed love for this journey.  It has been difficult.  It has not always been fun.  I'm losing that "on fire" feeling to fight through the end of the month, even though I see and feel God moving. I know He has more to teach me.  If I give it up now, and give in to what I want, there wouldn't be less of me and my junk, and more of Him and His kingdom. Truck on ladies, truck on. 16 days to go!

7 Days

Here we are, day 7 of The 7 Experiment. What I've learned the most of so far.. is DIY foods! Mayonnaise, crackers, chips.. All from acceptable ingredients! Jackpot. I have also adjusted a soup recipe or 2 to include chicken rather than ham, water rather than milk, etc. I feel like saying "where has this stuff been all my life!?" My adult, married, trying-to-be-frugal life at least. Some of these practices I think I'll keep up! There have been spiritual break throughs as well though.  So far it seems I have just been figuring out the logistics of it all, what to eat and what not eat.  Since I am breast feeding, I try not to be too strict, wavering a little here and there (a bean is vegetable, right? Well, sometimes. Like now.)  I have found myself adjusting to the new diet though.  I feel so different, so much better. I'm managing great without coffee, even with a baby who decided she doesn't like sleeping all night anymore. I was already a water drinker (thank you, pregnancy), but I think I've somehow managed to increase that amount too. I'm bored with fixing eggs for breakfast, but surprised at how much I enjoy peanut butter toast. I'm still searching for some more creative meals though........

Things I miss the most- cereal, pasta, and of course sweets--of any kind =( 
Every time I go to Paducah, the mall area particularly, I instantly crave a strawberry milkshake from Steak n Shake. Mmmmmm!

Also, I'm a meal planner, and this is throwing me off kilter a little bit.  My grocery list was so bare.  I bought 5 packages of chicken.  I'll have to make a few trips, rather than one big one, to renew my fresh fruits and veggies! I've eaten about a month's worth in one week.  It's worth it though.
However, I love not having to put quite as much thought into it all- "Do I have all of the ingredients for....this?"  Eliminating the excess..even if it's just excess thoughts taking up space in my brain...I'm making more room for Jesus!

Things I'm learning-
Just because I could eat it, doesn't mean I should. I'm breaking my pregnancy habit of eating whatever I want, whenever I want.
I'll never again think, or mumble, "ugh, we have nothing to eat!"  I don't believe that will ever, ever be true in my home. It makes me furious when I hear those words. We have so much, that we don't even realize it.  I want to realize it, more and more every day.  I want to be moved to action.

20 more days, my friends.  It's been one heck of a week.. What else does God have in store for me, my family, my friends, through this experience?